I look back at my life over the last 6+ years and honestly have no clue how I have ended up where I am. Wouldn't change it for anything to be honest. But holy crap, how did I go from working on a PCU (progressive care floor. A step down unit from the ICU) in Altoona to working in Reading's ED and now taking a 3 month leave of absence to go to Guatemala? So many people have helped change my life, push me, stretch me. I say it over and over and I still truly mean it: from working in the ED, you experience more in a 12 hour shift than most people do in their entire lives. I've seen so much pain, joy, crap, and "you did what?" that honestly I'm pretty much not shocked by anything and my already broken filter has completely been lost. My co-workers are absolutely amazing. I seriously can't thank them enough for how awesome they are, how much we value teamwork and friendship. We can work side by side without saying anything and save someone's life. We have a sense of humor that only we can understand and probably seems pretty crude to a lot of "outsiders." We have cried together. We have laughed together. We can just look at one another and know what they are thinking and feeling. It's a bond that you just can't break. We have seen way more than anyone should have to witness. From the stuff we see and are a part of, patients and families can teach you so much. It seriously puts life into perspective.
6 years ago, my sister, Deanne said, "You're getting out of the country and Canada doesn't count. Get your passport. You're coming with me to Guatemala and we're going to visit Drew and Cindy." I said, "Ok." Didn't take much to convince me to go along. Since I had just started at Reading, I didn't have a chance to put in vacation days since you have to do that over a year in advance. So I piled 80 hours in a week before and after my 6 day trip to Guatemala. I had a great time and that started my trips to there. What was a once a year vacation, quickly turned into twice a year trip and growing number of friends and connections down there. I have fallen in love with all the kids that I have met down there. We all know that I'm a baby hog and could hold babies and play with toddlers all day if given the opportunity. So many kids down there have changed my life. Emma and Mateo are 2 that most people have heard me talk about frequently. But if you would just sit down and hear about what all these kids have been through in their very young lives and yet see how far they've come, you would be moved too. Their daily struggles are way bigger compared to our first world problems of "comcast put me on hold...again!" The one day while I was down there holding Mateo who had just had one of his episodes where he about passed out from his congenital heart defects, Karen called and wanted to know if I'd like to tag along the following day to the clinic she works at. Absolutely! I went there the day before I left to go back to the States and she said she could pick me up for clinic on Friday. Um, Karen, I'll be in the States by then and back to work. Since then I have been back to that clinic again and randomly ate lunch with a couple who worked with BuildinGuate and have a medical clinic. After exchanging info, I now have connections with them and many other places over the past few months. God is continuing to put this whole trip together way better than I could have ever planned it!
As most of you know, this past year has been rough. Like really rough. I feel like a broken record sometimes telling people what all has happened. But this past year has taught me so much, especially a special little 4 year old girl and her amazing family. I had someone say to me, "You know that you're falling in love with a girl who is dying." Yup. Wouldn't change it for a second. It was such an honor to be a part of her life before she went to Heaven. To hear her say that she loved me, asked me to sleep over, say "that girl can cook!," for me to be able to teach her how to make whoopie pies, bake and cook with her, play games, have dance parties, play in the snow, lie on the couch and watch cooking shows, and the list goes on, it seriously means so much to me. I can't even put it into words how much that time with her and her family has meant to me. This family has showed me the importance of being present NOW. Enjoying time together and making memories. Can't be stuck worrying and trying to figure out the future. I don't know what the future holds. God's got that figured out. So I'm trying to live in the present and spend as much time with family and friends making memories and doing the most that I can while here. None of us know how much longer we have. I see that all the time at work and have experienced that a lot this past year with 3 friends now in Heaven within the past few months. So I may seem like I skip a lot of sleep (I do sleep some, I promise), but I see quality time with people to be way more important. So I don't really care about money or distance. I'll travel wherever and whenever to spend time with people. Over this past year, I have been stretched beyond what I thought was possible. My prayer life has gone to a whole new level this past year. I can't tell you how many times I would wake up and couldn't sleep and would start praying for Jo and pretty much immediately afterwards, I would get a text saying that things weren't going great for her. Music has always been important to me and there have been so many songs that have gotten me and some friends who have lost kids through this past year. Lyrics have just been perfect for what we've been going through and the radio seems to play just the right song at the right time. I've spent many drives singing and crying all at the same time. So therapeutic sometimes.
And this leads to me to my upcoming 3 month trip. So the plan is to work at various medical clinics and set up future connections for my co-workers to be a part of medical teams. That's the plan. What's actually going to happen? I have no clue. God has used my past experiences and put together connections way better than I could ever have planned. So this trip is all His. I head down March 11th and the following day, I'm going to hop on a truck and head 8 hours north for a week long medical trip. After that, I'm going to help at at least 2 other clinics, and possibly more if the opportunity arises. And of course there are the awesome kiddos at the children's homes and orphanages that I plan on spending time with. This trip has been something that I've wanted to do for a long time and after this past year, it all worked out to go down now and use this time to heal from everything that has happened and get a change of pace from the daily...nightly...work in the ED. Huge thank you for the donations, love, and support through all of this and greatly appreciate your prayers and continued support once I'm down there. I'm going to try to keep this blog updated as well as possible while I'm down there to keep you all in the loop about what's happening down there!
